Buckets and Birdies

Buckets and Birdies
Co-Pilots for Life: Greta and Mary Katharine

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Welp, it has been long enough.  I am deciding to blog from MyMy and Poppy's house, which seems to be the only time I actually have two free hands (lots of people to hold Mary Katharine).  While I would LOVE to post a picture, I don't have any downloaded on the current lap top, so my next post will include ample pics of MK (aka Baby Underpants).

Some specs on Mary Katharine:
Borged into the universe on June 2nd.  8:30 am.  6 pounds 15 ounces.  20 inches long.  She was meticulously extracted from my lower abdomen by Dr. Davis, screaming her little head off.  She was clearly NOT happy.  The noise of her wailing was the most reassurance I could get (amid my sweating and dry heaving), considering the entrance Gertie made into the world.  Right off the bat, I knew she did not look like Greta.  However, I immediately was drawn to the amazing baby bird hairs that was formed into a glorious mullet like structure on the back of her baby head.  Considering how nauseous I was from the spinal, I was surprised I even remembered her birth.  The lovely anesthesiologist had been pumping Zofran into my IV, which made me groggy.  That mixed with morphine made for an interesting 1 hour recovery post op.  I was able to hold her immediatly.  She was alert and pissed.  My kind of lady.  I was so relieved to have her delivery over, which seem to create so much anxiety for me (during the entire pregnancy).  She didn't have a name for two days.  We still went back and forth after the birth certificate lady met with us.

In light of every single lady on facebook having babies in the last month and expecting in the next few weeks, here is a list of things that are most important for mommies today:

1.  Moms can do anything with one hand.  (The other hand is always busy feeding other siblings, cleaning dishes, picking up toys, folding laundry, picking up other siblings, preparing food, etc.)
2.  Brushing your teeth and showering are luxuries.  A mother is lucky, especially new moms, to have enough time to do both these activities during the day.
3.  Makeup/cute outfits/blow dried hair are distant memories until your baby is a old enough to nap for at least 2 hours.  Also, clean cute clothes for mommy are usuallly riddled with food/barf/poop/pee by 2 pm.
4.  Pregnancy continues after the baby is born.  While Victoria Beckham may be able to return to her pre-baby weight within 2 hours after delivery her kids, this may not be the case for you.  It took me one year to lose all of Greta's baby weight.  Awesome.  Also, the prego belly?  Yep, that flab sticks around for awhile.  HOT.
5.  Ringing doorbells and knocks on the door will send a mother into Defcon 7.  These noises wake sleeping children.  These noises are also brought on by uninvited visitors that are annoying and unneccessary.  They deserve to die.  Real friends/visitors know to use the back door or just walk in.  They also know they should bring dinner/coffee/McDonalds and be willing to fold a load of laundry/hold a baby/calm a crying toddler/clean a few dishes.
6.  Leaving the house is a luxury.  Fussy babies hate car rides and car seats.
7.  Sleep:  ooooh, a biggie.  Stretches of sleep are fond memories like those drinking binges in college.  Never going to happen......at least not anytime soon.
8.  It is a good day if everyone has eaten and are wearing clean clothes.
9.  Want to give a great baby gift?  Buy the new mommy a cleaning lady for a month.
10.  Real friends understand a major lapse of communication....like months will go by and said friend isn't mad at you because they totally understand.
11.  Psychiatrists were put on the planet to call the anxiety/psychosis of mothers.
12.  Caffeine is the best drug in the world.

I am sure there are several more.  My brain is fried.  I can't believe I am still up.