I have finally figured out when Greta has been receiving D-'s on the sleep chalkboard for the last several weeks.  While this is NOT rocket science, or some deeply intricate sewing pattern, clearly, I have NOT been smart enough to figure it out.  I GIVE YOU......................Teething.  Yep, once again, this little "blip" in her life's roadmap will include several weeks of non-sleepy night times, all because of teeth.  Teeth blow.  NO ONE told me how hard this was going to be---breastfeeding was a snap compared to this.  NOT TO MENTION teething, paired with a growth spurt, and throwing in a flair for throwing things---yep, I'm dealing with a almost-11-month-old monster.  Aside from whipping her sucky (pacifier) out of her crib at night, aside from getting her foot tangled in the spokes (crib bars) or her crib, ASIDE from gas, Greta is not being a good sleeper.  This absolutely sucks.  So I am once again going to call up my Columbian drug lord friends for some sweet deals on Children's Ibuprofen.  I understand that Greta is not old enough to understand the true healing magical powers of rubbing Beanie's ears OR the tender feeling of slapping on a clean pair of sweatpants.  Until then, we are back on the sauce.  THEN maybe I can get some shut eye.  Until then, enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrNXUbD53Mg

This is Greta eating her morning biscuit, i.e, blueberry waffle.  She enjoys this time, because it allows her moments to reflect on her previous night's sleep as well as the day's activities.  This is also a time for her to focus on creating a "situation" that would entail a new thorax, i.e., diaper.  This is also the time when Biscuit and Beans come out of the woodwork to steal Greta's crumbs when they fall to the floor, or when she turns her head.  Biscuit is a master at thievery, taking several pieces of food in an instant.  Beans, on the other hand, is much more low key---she usually takes this time to get lots of pets and rubs from me.  (Which is followed by a short walk to a nearby closet for rest and relaxation). 

Greta also uses this time to work a bit until the snack time hour---tinkering with a spatula, block, or random sock.

You may also notice that her hair looks extra "flat."  Yep, that is what going to bed without a bathies will do.

FYI---she did poop twice today AND there was NO poop in the bathtub.

If you look closely at this picture, it may resemble a certain Ewok named Wicket, enjoying a tasty snack (this scene can be viewed in the great motion picture, The Ewok Adventure: The Battle for Endor.)
Here is a clip from this amazing film.  No treats for Wicket, but if you watch the whole movie, you'll see plenty.
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvZm6fl1040

I give you Greta "walking".........

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s16lJ8eT8R8

FYI, she can take steps by herself.  She has difficulty pulling herself up (she doesn't at all).  We start physical therapy in two weeks to help her with her "transitional movements" i.e., standing to sitting and sitting to standing.  She doesn't bend her knees at all to get up and when in the tummy position, she is unable to get her knees up underneath her.  It is as if it is really uncomfortable.  She sees her buddies Sam and Oliver moving around like crazy, and she wants to roll with her homies.  

I'm a horrible mother because I have been neglecting this blog.  I've been quite busy trying to be an extreme couponer while also keeping the house afloat.  Well, the couponing is going okay, and the house is seriously suffering.  I folded about 35 loads of laundry this week.  I'm a bit closer to finishing all of it.  I'm so over it.  Greta has been very busy socializing with her bestie, Oliver.  He had a BIG birthday last weekend (1), and with their playdates, she is quite the social butterfly.

Dave had an interesting night with GFP last night---I went to fetch some Mexican food with some of my Cookie wives, while Dave was left to wrangle the furbabies and the two-legged.  They played, and at around 7:45, he fed her the last bottle of the day.  She finished her bottle, no problem.  He then proceeded to burp her.  While he was burping her, she fell asleep (gross play clothes, and wet diaper in all).  I went in to check on her at around 1 a.m., only to find her completely asleep with a SUPER PEE BOMB for a diaper.  But, there was NO WAY I was going to wake my sleeping child.  NO WAY.  Well, around 3 a.m., she woke up, SUPER DUPER WET.  I then had to completely change her clothes and give her a new thorax (diaper).  NOT HAPPY GRETA.  I brought her into bed with me, a big no-no, but when I am this tired, this is the only option.  Fast forward to 4 am, and she is still awake, thrashing around.  She finally fell asleep before Dave got up for work.  Needless to say, I'm exhausted, looking super hot, and Greta is putting herself to sleep right now.  NOT OK.

And finally, Greta received a magical package from her Pepe----two Navy teeshirts to celebrate the upcoming Navy football season.  Go Navy!  Beat Army!

For your viewing pleasure, I give you GRETA CLAPPING:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsvulr0cSWw

(Sorry my voice is so loud in the video....I was right next to the phone speaker.)

Please note in the video, how there is NO ELBOW BENDING while clapping.  VERY precise.  VERY agile.  Much like a ninja, with awesome dance moves.

And we are back! 

This week has been crazy.....to sum it up, all of Greta's fellow gang members have been sick.  We are talking foot-hand-mouth, roseola, UTI, ear infections, rashes, etc.  NOT GOOD.  SO, this morning, Greta and Oliver were FINALLY reunited for the first time since last week!  Oh how they missed each other!  Poor Oliver has been Mr. Grumpy Pants, dealing with a high fever, and a nasty rash.  Thankfully, he was almost back to his old self---showcasing his sweet dance moves (pop, pop, lock, and drop), eating pieces of fruit, eating some of my muffin, and collecting random toys and placing them in even more random places.  He is celebrating the big 1 this weekend.  He doesn't know it yet, but Greta bought him a sweet sword to practice his pirate moves.  (It was either that, or chalk.  Swords are way cooler.)

Greta and I are heading to Fort Wayne today to hit up some garage sales.  She is excited to see both her Grammies!  Grammy Jan is driving down tomorrow afternoon.  LOTS of Grammy (and Poppy) time.

This is some of Greta's best work.....a crop circle surrounding her, meticulously placed items within her reach to investigate for further scientific evaluation.  Lately, she's been forming crop circles around her as she plays with her toys.  Her newest passion?  Tearing Kleenex, pulling clothes out of her drawers (especially shorts), screaming, and trying to bounce in her walker.  While she has a black belt in bouncing, walking is an area where she needs improvement.  She's going to have to see the physical therapist again to help with her crawling skills.  As I describe her movements, she has no transitional movements from floor to stand, and standing to sitting.  I'm a bit concerned, because it is as if she has no idea how to go from one to the other.  NOW, if she is upright, she can actually take a few steps on her own.  She has great balance.  I'm sure it is because of her amazing circly/rounded/deep/wide feet.  I will keep my readers posted when we begin the therapy.  We will not look at this a set back, but just another platform to entertain anyone that will pay attention to her, and possibly massage her appendages.

I should also mention that this photo is a great indicator of how circly/magical her fat hands our---very softies, very squishy, always smelling like syrup and sparkles (just like a unicorn).  OH, and because she loves eating crackers so much, they often smell like crackers.

I will not take credit for this photo.  It is the artistic work of Mande Miskewycz, mother to Cali and Wrigs, and soon to be mother of a human baby (in July).

Oh, and Greta now weighs 22.11 pounds (she has now surpassed Bean Bean).