Spring must be in the air.....I've had a few conversations in the last few weeks with my mommy girlfriends about having more kids.  While I'm not the one talking abem is always, "How do you know when it is time for another baby?"  For me, it isn't just about "Oh, Greta's almost 2, so I guess I need to think about this."  I am thinking more about the sacrifice that my body will take on: the lack of sleep, the nausea, the back pain, the breastfeeding and pumping, etc.  I guess I haven't forgotten all about that yet.  When Greta was a few months old, I saw another specialist related to the problems I had after her delivery.  He put a magic number in my head about when I should START thinking about another baby.  2.  Greta had to be at least 2 for me to even consider another pregnancy.  That would give me enough time for my body to heal -- if nerves were going to start working again, 24 months is the most amount of time if that was going to happen.  Big questions......

While I never envisioned myself as an only-child-mother, it is absolutely overwhelming to think about having a second child to care for.  My friend Jamie reminds me that I am still "haunted" by Greta's delivery.  It is too fresh, too real still.  Dave and I were doing our taxes yesterday, and realized we paid $8000 out of pocket for expenses SOLELY related to Greta's delivery----only a year later.  We are still paying off her bill from her birth, still paying off physical therapy from the first year.  We haven't even started paying on her current therapies, which now include occupational, physical and now, speech.  We rescheduled (for the third time) her 3 day EEG at Riley.  After a long discussion, Dave and I opted to cancel it again---it is too much for Greta, too much for me, and too expensive right now.  What if we go through all that, and nothing comes up on the report?  We already know she's had seizures.  We know they happen at random times.  We have no idea what that means for G's future---at this point, everything that could have happened from her delivery HAS happened, and at this point, there aren't anymore surprises.  Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.  My motto.

We go to a shoe fitter on March 15th to have her feet assessed again.  The orthopaedic doctor said it wasn't anything to be concerned about, considering she's made major improvements in the last year.  She does have an arch 'in there,' but her pronation and toes crossing over are all related to the poor muscle tone.  (Muscle tone is controlled by the brain.)  Thankfully, this won't be a big deal and her shoes are under $50.