On a serious note.....
I have noticed some major differences with Greta (compared to her little friends). While I am not anxious about her cognitive development (she is verbal, she seems to understand what I'm saying to her, she favors toys and activities), she definitely demonstrates a significant delay in her physical movements, gross movements that is. By this age, most babies are scooting/crawling as a form of forward/backward movement to get to something they want. When Greta is sitting down, she is stationary. There is no movement at all. She has no transition changes from standing to sitting/sitting to standing. When she is on her belly, she does not get her legs underneath her at all. She cannot pull herself up. When she is standing (from someone helping her), she walks. She has taken several (up to 12) steps by herself. She cruises along furniture very well, often taking short walks from one piece to the next. However, she is going to fall, there is no cautionary/balance adjusting movements. She'll fall flat on her butt, or on her face. She does not try to brace herself at all, as if she has no arms to speak of. She also does not bend her knees when she is sitting as a means of any movement toward any object, and this is also when she is trying to crouch down to get something from a standing position. I'm a bit nervous because I understand the majority of our body's balance comes from the posterior portion of the brain (cerebellum). This was an area directly affected during her birth. This was the point of the majority of the fluid/swelling after delivery.
I'm worried that this is the beginning of a slippery slope for Greta. Again, she shows signs of normal development, but this seems to be a doozy in the growing up department. I'm worried that she won't be able to match up physically with her little friends and she'll look different. (While I love Greta NO MATTER WHAT, I don't want her to look different to others, as something to make fun of her for.) I also don't want her to experience any setbacks in her life from someone elses hand, i.e., the OB that delivered her. I'm more than willing to wear that badge for the rest of my life, as I am her mother. I am thankful up 'til this point, she's presented herself as a very normal little person who loves bath time, swings, spatulas, yogurt, and bouncing. Again, this thought of fear and anxiety for Greta's well being has been at the back of my mind since I first saw her in the NICU. While every mother fears for their children's well being, which is normal for any mom in moments of danger/peril/uncertainty, I suppose for me, it was going to be inevitable at some point.
I understand children are extremely resilient, but looking back, her head was in bad shape. And again, I as her mother, would take all of her injury/pain/discomfort so she could have a happy and normal existence. (And as Dave would say, someone did THIS to her.) That is the hard part of all of this---I could accept some sort of delay if that is what God intended for us---but with her injury, there is always a question looming in my head if this was at the hand of my OB, not God. And for that, I will never forgive the OB. I know I won't ever accept choosing her as my doctor, but I have to go about my life and try to be the best for Greta and Dave. My injuries aside, I have to keep moving forward for my family.
It has almost been 1 year since Greta was born, but on days like today, it seems like yesterday. I have to be confident that she'll be okay because she's my daughter and she's a tough chick. I don't think I've passed the weak gene down to her, at least, I hope not.
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| Wagon. Her newest form of transportation. |
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| Greta and Oliver's first yachting date. |
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| Testing the wind speed/velocity/humidity before stretching her "sea legs." |
If there is one thing that the last several months that I'm thankful for, it is the women I call friends. Without my "
Mommies" and "
Cookies," and
teaching friends, the last 11 months would have been much harder. (
While I'm also thankful for Effexor and Concerta.)
Have you ever met someone that you can completely be yourself around? Like they are a sister from another mother? Yep, that is Mackinzie. She has 4 sisters, likes reality television, loves carbs, and often bitches about housecleaning. Yep, she is a good friend. Her son, Oliver, is a magical pirate, who loves to eat, dance, and play with his dog, Lola. Greta loves being around Oliver--I would not be mad if they decided to marry at a young age. We see them at least 4 times a week. They are a great pair to do an activity with--even if it is grabbing coffee, or discussing couponing with. PLUS, Oliver's dad has a fun boat. Whoo hoo.
I'm also thankful for my friend, Jamie. She knows EXACTLY what it is like to have a baby who isn't always operating under the best circumstances---her little girl, Sophie, has some neuro issues. She has spent countless days in the hospital. Jamie knows exactly what it is like to have a sick kid, unsure of the future, with little faith in doctors. Jamie totally gets it. Totally. She was there when Greta was born, doing her best to make Dave and I feel comfortable, bringing us food, checking on us, checking in with the doctors---these friends are almost impossible to find. I'm lucky---
I have two.
Greta's PT appt is on Friday. I'll surely post her consult results afterward.
