Calli and Greta having a splendid time talking about the Lions and their winning season.

A proud Pepe and his granddaughter, both wearing Navy gear.

Nona and her grandpiece on Christmas morning.

The Monforton Norton Corcoran Willis Ohana.

I tried to snap a picture of Dave with Josie and Jack Becker, but Jack was too quick. This was the best one. This was about one minute before Josie's blowout.

Mollykins and Dana enjoying Greta Pants in her Lions gear.

Jackages Packages Becker in his new ride. It was hard to find something that topped last year's shopping cart. I am thankful for the Becker Family because they too like Matthew Stafford and the Lions. Sadly, they are moving back to Indiana, but glad because they will be closer to us (they are moving to the promised land: Fort Wayne.)

A morning hike in Clarkston. We woke up to a nice dusting of snow. It was a beautiful day---the dogs and Greta were very happy.

After almost of week of traveling, we are finally home. (We actually got home last night.) Greta experienced her first Christmas and it was great! She had no interest in presents, but surely enjoyed the paper, sparkly lights, and lots of friendly faces to touch. (If you haven't personally encountered Greta, she is definitely a "face toucher.") Here are some highlights:

1. Once again, the whole Monforton-Corcoran-Willis-Norton Ohana was home......all together.
This has only happened two times before: last Christmas, and Jennie's wedding.
2. Greta did not ruin her Christmas Eve outfit or the beautiful bib Gige Stone made for her with
puke or poop.
3. Greta met two of her distant cousins, Hazel and Jeremy---they were impressed.
4. Biscuit only killed one squirrel while we were away on our travels.
5. Greta, Dave, and I were able to meet the newest addition to the Becker Clan, Ms. Josephine
Elizabeth. Josie was SO excited to see us, she had a blowout.....on Dave's arm. Newborn poop
is totally a different story because they are tiny creatures and full of sparkles and magic.
6. Dave and I were able to give Jack Becker his 2nd birthday present: A Radio Flyer Inch
Worm. I think it was a big hit. Jack is so stinking cute, however, he gave me his sinus
infection. Doesn't matter--I still heart him.
7. The Hoodie Exchange on Christmas Eve was another smashing success. We welcomed Ms.
Calli Long as our newest addition, and she did fabulous---laughed at all of our potty jokes and
ate the meat and fish with the best of them.
8. Greta was able to spend time with her Uncle Kyle before he gets sent to Afghanistan in
March. She awaits his return in the early fall. We will miss him like crazy and pray for a safe
journey home!

We had a wonderful Christmas and are incredibly thankful we spent it with our families. We always wish we had more time.

I came across this little diddy as I searched through Joan and Jim's computer files. It is absolutely amazing that Greta is almost 7 months old. I think she was about 4 weeks old in this picture. I will have tons of Christmas pictures to post when Dave and I return from our travels this evening.

Greta's first Christmas has been a blast! Lots of toys and laughing----all things a baby's first Christmas should be. She has faired well with sleeping while we have been traveling, as well as handling herself with grace (as she has been passed around like crazy). She loves spending time with all of her aunties and uncles (and cousins). She has especially liked spending time with her Pepe, Nona, Grammy, and Poppy.

We are so thankful and blessed for our family, especially during the holiday season. Hopefully next year Greta will be able to enjoy her first piece of meat pie, a Canadian tradition in the Monforton household (to celebrate Christmas Day).

(I would also like to point out that this picture depicts, very nicely, Greta's ducktail. This wonderful placement of hairs on the back side of her head no longer exist, as they have gone to Jesus with the rest of her baby spikes. I pray for their return on a daily basis.)

Clearly, Greta Fat Pants loves her bouncy. Whoever invented this marvelous machine, I'd like to thank her (or him). Notice the rainbow headband in her hand? Yep, a treasure today in Greta's hands. It is now soaked with drool, as she has cherished her new find all day.

Beans is still adjusting to her life as a big sissy to a human. I did catch her smelling Greta this morning. To make matters worse, Beans did NOT attend puppy school today. She has been waiting for Biscuit's bus all day.

I found a letter to Santa that I believe was written by Greta. I had a hard time translating it because of the handwriting (think serial killer-chicken scratch). Here goes:

Deer Santa,

I love puppies. I would like more softies please (blankets). Why doesn't Beans love me like Biscuit? I try to rub her ears but she gives me mean eyes. I would like a Little Foot toy (The Land Before Time), a cookie, and ribbon (to play with).

Love,
Greta

This morning we had a very special visitor: NANA! Nana is our lovely neighbor, who we adore and love. She just loves Greta to bits and usually brings her something special (other than love, hugs, and kisses).

Greta received her second ornament of the Christmas season----We have to be sure to put a special picture in it to capture her personality before the tree comes down in February (yes, February).

Biscuit also received her own special ornament from Nana.

And of course, where there's a Biscuit, there is a Bean. Nana never forgets about her Bean Bean. Sadly, it is hard to find an ornament that truly captures Beans' physical appearance---the closest thing is usually a Jack Russell terrier or a Beagle. Beans is simply one of a kind.

And the blowout-down-the-leg streak continues.......

Apricots are a nice compliment to green beans.....

Greta would rather observe than participate in her playgroup.......

Greta has become a nice little hugger.........

I am happy to report it has been almost 15 hours and no screaming or angry red fanny from the sweet potatoes. I think we have a winner here. I also gave Greta Fat Pants about a teaspoon of prunes this morning. (You know, to keep things MOVING.) Keep your fingers crossed........

This photo was taken at 7:30 this morning. Clearly, I am very tired. Maybe it is because Dave decided to sand the newly taped/plastered walls, thereby creating more dust than Oklahoma in our bedroom making it so no human can sleep. I was driven to sleep on the couch.......with a Beans and a Biscuit. Biscuit did not get enough sleep, too. Beans slept very nicely----she hogged most of the couch. (No, I will not kick them off the couch. They were once abandoned puppies alone at the shelter. I do not want them to draw from their memory box.)

This photo highlights Greta's keen tinkering skills. We call this play station her "Laboratory." She does most of her research and thinking here. She has conducted many experiments, testing the velocity and volume of her pacifier, as well as the softies-static dynamic of her raggie. You can tell that she is very focused on her work.

So the oatmeal did NOT work out. We had the same reaction: Screaming and a sore fanny. This does NOT mean constipation. It means, "Who the F*** gave me this SH*T food that is making my tummy hurt?!?!!?" Needless to say, that was the end of that.

Today, we tried sweet potatoes. Organic. Seasonal. Made with love by Momma. I hope she does not react how she did with the cereal. Greta received a very nice pep talk from her buddy Tyler Houk. He told her, "The sweet potatoes are the bomb and they help make the poopies come out." I'm taking his word on this one.

Greta loved the sweet potatoes. (I love watching her eat....her little baby dinosaur tongue gets pushed through her little sweet lips as she tries to "chew" her food.) She also enjoyed her sweet potato dining experience because she was wearing her first piece of Detroit Red Wing gear from her Great-Great Aunties from Canada. And How! (This might be a good time to start grooming her on the dangers of dating hockey players.)

We are on oatmeal eating, Day 2. I hope things continue to go smoothly----no whining, no rash, lots of poopies, and a smiling Greta Fat Pants. Greta was introduced to her first manger scene at a holiday party we attended last night. And what did she want to get her fat hands on first? Yep, a camel. Apparently Jesus in the hay isn't a big hit. I am debating whether I should buy her Christmas presents......should I? Suggestions are very much appreciated......

I have mentioned in several posts about Greta's "blowouts." I will need to elaborate, as her morning "movement" had me thrown for a loop.

A blowout: (noun) The miraculous existence of poo, when it manages to escape the confines of a diaper and spreads itself everywhere outside of the diaper thereby adhering itself to those extremities in close proximity to the failed diaper (such as thigh, leg, back, foot, shoulder, hand, arm, or neck of the baby). This magical experience usually involves a complete breakdown of the changing station-----clothing, changing pad, changing cover, etc. It may also involve a short (or long) soak in the sink/tub or wash down with the hose. The blowout is also usually accompanied by a laughing infant/toddler who knows what is going on and is sending Jedi signals that it will, in fact, happen again (before the week is over). The blowout is also a shameless reminder that your child's gastrointestinal tract is in working order and that no matter how "put together" a mom may have it, the blowout will shatter your outward appearance in seconds (close proximity of diaper may also include, but is not limited to those extremities attached to mom or dad).

Greta had a blowout that affected:
1. An exersaucer
2. Pajamas
3. Changing pad
4. Changing table
5. Garbage can
6. Mom's pants
7. Mom's shirt
8. The hamper
9. A washcloth

Sadly, these items/surfaces are experiencing PTSD at this time.

Her blowout went DOWN the leg of her pajamas and INTO the foot of her pajamas. When I was changing her, it had spread to her upper back, shoulder, hand, neck, and foot. WTF.

We are all recovering slowly from the events previously mentioned.

The newest Greta stats are in:

Height: 27 3/4 inches tall (95th percentile)
Weight: 19.34 pounds (97th percentile)
Head Circumference: 44 centimeters (90th percentile)

Yep, we have a Downhill Skier on our hands! The 2026 Winter Olympics are approaching quickly..... better start practicing.

http://www.youtube.com/user/carolinemnorton?feature=mhee#p/a/u/0/JaHeXpBO0bI

Greta asked for a pony for her half birthday. Sadly, all the ponies around here have been reported to Animal Control. SO, Dave invented a version of a magical pony ride.

Six Months!

One year ago......

December 8, 2011

My little fat pants is six months old today! Dave said he thought about calling me at 11:18 a.m. to mark the EXACT time that she was hatched. Time seriously flies.

She goes in for her six month check-up tomorrow. We'll know then her stats then.


A few things new in Greta's life:

1. Rolling over all the time. Anytime you put her on her belly, she rolls over.
2. She is beginning to swing her lower trunk in a side to side motion, causing her to almost roll from back to tummy.
3. She is obsessed with the dogs. I actually caught Beans licking her ear today. That was a first----Beans has taken a long time to warm up to Greta. Biscuit, on the other hand, LOVES her baby sister.
4. She is going almost four hours between feedings. We are hoping to re-introduce solids to her next week, with the blessing of the doctor. We are hopeful we will not have a nightmare of a time, as we did with the rice cereal.
5. She is almost too big for her infant seat. Nona Monforton bought Greta a big girl seat---I can't believe how big she has gotten!

(She was eight days old when this picture was taken. Please ignore my AMAZING hair/makeup in the photo.)

We acknowledge every single day how blessed we are to have a happy and healthy Greta Fat Pants! We are blessed to have such supportive family and friends. They made the first few weeks so much better. Now we can celebrate how far Greta has come!

Well, she's done it again. Greta threw out some pretty awesome Tom Foolery tonight. She had me thinking that she had significant "activity" in her diaper. However, it was only fierce flatulence. Before I caught "wind" of her tricks, Daddy already had a bath drawn. When it comes to quick thinking, the sink is always the best solution. No need to spend oodles of money on funky bath tools. Kitchen utensils are the way to go. It should also be noted that I am no longer offended when a person refers to Greta as "meaty."

There is a new development: Greta had a massive Level 4 Blowout that destroyed her Kermit pajamas. Kermit has been replaced by her Curious George pink pajamas with a coordinating azure sleep sack by Dolce & Gabbana. This piece was featured in the Winter 2011 Collection during Fashion Week in Bryant Park.

We have a new development: Greta's new favorite "thing" is pushing toys off her play trays (attached to her bouncer and Bumbo seat). Not so cute. HOWEVER, she does score extra points for her hiccup/fart combo that comes quickly after dinner.

In lieu of the newest Muppet movie to come out, Greta is showing her support for Mr. Kermit the Frog.

More importantly, Greta and I went to lunch with some friends at a monster-friendly restaurant (Logan's). Greta had so much fun, she decided to tell EVERYONE about it.......making pteradactyl/animal noises to anyone that would turn her way. Thankfully, most people were very receptive to it. There were only a few that did not get sucked into her cute-baby-squish-face tractor beams.

Greta is summoning Mother Nature to bring snow. She is ready.

Reading with Grammy.
Jennie posted this picture (taken with my phone) on Facebook and was sure to mention the squishy toes in the shot. She also noted how her leg and foot meet---there is suppose to be an ankle there, but there isn't. Not enough room.

This is what Auntie Dana would call a "Pants Off Dance Off."
(It should also be noted that she is wearing a size 2T shirt that celebrates the glory of the Lions this season, so far.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRj782E1AQs

Another video highlight of Greta's skills.

Biscuit going to 2nd base with Greta, which seems to be a daily occurrence.

Greta brushing up on her reading.

Greta and her Great Pepe comparing hairstyles as well as discussing this year's Red Wing starting lineup.

We are finally home and Greta had a splendid time with all of her extended family. Lots of love from her aunties, uncle, cousins, and grandparents (and great-grandparents). We are so lucky to have such an amazing family!

Blocks are quite the toy. Greta is also sitting up pretty well. I'm sure by next week, she'll be able to do it on her own.

Solid food update: We are waiting for her first go at vegetables until after her 6 month check up. I'm not about the sore fanny anymore (or ever).

And finally, we are waiting with BAITED breath for the news of Jack Becker's new baby sister's arrival. Any day now! (In the picture below, Baby Becker #2 is making her debut at my baby shower. While I knew of Kady's bun in the oven before the lunch, I couldn't contain myself---I told my mom and sister. They were elated, making for a very exciting baby shower.)

Holy hell. I tried Greta on the rice cereal this week and it has turned into an absolute NIGHTMARE. Screaming when she tries to poop-----Horrible. She now has on a coat of breast lotion and Butt Paste, 2 ml's of Tylenol in her----hopefully, she'll relax a bit. Greta's never fussy, but man, this is bad. I feel so bad for her. Her little butt is so red. I'm a horrible parent.

Guess who had cereal for the first time tonight?

This snapshot was followed by tons of giggles and smiles as the nourishment passed through her baby gullet into her baby intestines. Delicious! We now brace ourselves for a nasty diaper and more consumption of this material.

Greta and her cousins: Jake, Andrew, and Sam. Sam and Jake LOVE to hold her and they are VERY good at it....

Some pictures from our visit to Fort Wayne last weekend. Dave's mom has a great camera is always there to catch Greta in action.

Greta met another Puma at Jennie's wedding.....Mrs. Amy Burkhart, dog owner extraordinaire. Amy is going to be hatching her own offspring in a few months and we couldn't be happier for her! (Notice Greta's outfit? Yep, Daddy dressed her. Lots of patterns and not much matching.)

Greta survived her first large family event: Auntie Jennie's wedding. Greta was a trooper---no crying, a fair amount of sleeping, and lots of laughing. I didn't take many pictures, so hopefully Jennie was able to capture a few-----

Jennie looked absolutely beautiful. Greta was VERY interested in her flowers and birdcage. Sadly, neither were eatable.

Eleanor (Dave's cousin's daughter) and Greta having a facial showdown. (Notice Greta's gingerbread man, LaVernius, suffering during this heated bout.)

Today, Greta and I ventured to the north to visit the newest addition to the Rollman family. Piper Rollman is a delicious example of a beautiful baby. Born three weeks premature, Piper is quite the baby hobbit-unicorn-sprite. She almost weighs 6 lbs, so holding her is basically like holding 1/3 of a Greta. She is incredibly small and perfect. Greta brought her A-game to the table and cried when Piper's dad picked her up. Apparently she isn't ready for a baby sibling and/or she is approaching the "stranger anxiety" portion of her development. Egh.

Team Buzz

Dana's BFF, Katie, is experiencing a family emergency. Her step-dad, Buzz Lightyear, is going to have colon surgery on Wednesday to remove a cancerous mass. We want to rally around him and show him our love. Greta does too-----

5 Months

Then.....

Now

Look who's 5 months old today!

A few of Greta's favorites:
Bouncing
Staring at her hands
Getting her hands/feet licked by her big sissy, Biscuit
Dancing to Van Morrison and Ray Charles with her Dadda
Making raspberry/pterodactyl noises
Going on walks