These non-child pornographic photos were snapped after a blowout. Jennie said we were a Category 4 blowout, but I strongly disagreed. I felt like this one was a Category 2, possibly a Category 1. Here is my criteria for accurate blowout rankings:

TROPICAL STORM: Poop/fecal matter squished out the side of the diaper, usually leaking through the pant and/or onesie.

CATEGORY 1: Poop/fecal matter squished through the diaper, on the onesie, AND the pants.

CATEGORY 2: Poop/fecal matter through the diaper, on the onesie, on the pant, and the lower back.

*CATEGORY 3: Poop/fecal matter through diaper, onesie, pants, and up the back.

*CATEGORY 4: Poop/fecal matter through diaper, onesie, pants, back, and on the
shoulder (s), and/or foot.

*CATEGORY 5: Poop/fecal matter all over the damn place, and not limited to back, shoulders, foot, HAIR, and HANDS, as well as mom's clothing/hair/hands, the changing pad AND table, and other random objects nearby. This is a nightmare which will involve the compassionate and caring assistance of an innocent bystander, which is NOT limited to:
a) neighbor
b) father-in-law
c) terrified babysitter
d) husband/partner/spouse.

***Categories 3-5 usually demand a wash down with a soapy rag, or most obviously a dip in the sink/bathtub (which later must be wiped down with bleach). This also usually involves dropping all future activities, as this usually happens at the worst possible time, such as dining out with friends, driving on a long road trip, or shopping at a fancy department store. Friends that are present when these situations arise who do not have kids usually use these moments as birth control, outrage, mass hysteria, or an opportunity to conjure feelings of food poisoning/seeing an animal hit by a car.